I started drinking black coffee. Here’s what happened…

It’s been 3 weeks since I began a new health experiment- drinking my coffee black.

Lots of people love their coffee black, but I have always been a cream and sugar girl. Then I went to taking it with just the half and half. After going dairy free (from a previous health experiment) I started taste testing creamers.

I was freaked out by all the extra ingredients in your average almond or coconut milk. Soy wasn’t a big part of my diet, plus the soymilk was never very tasty to me. Being a Thai food lover I decided to try something that had been in my pantry all along.

That’s when I discovered my perfect coffee combo!

The canned coconut milk was convenient, affordable, and DELICIOUS!

The problem was I was getting really into this new found delight, and it wasn’t agreeing so well with my body. I will spare you the details, but that particular experiment was paying off. It was clear the coconut milk didn’t fit what my body needed, so I had to change it up (or suffer the consequences).  I took a brief break from alternative milks to try dairy again and found I had lost my taste for that all together. Finding nothing on the market I liked as much as the canned stuff,  I went on a mission to make my own kinds of milk. Here’s my fave:

Homemade Coconut-Almond Milk

Blend the following 3 cups of nut solids:

2 cups unsweetened coconut flakes

1 cup almonds

(purchased in bulk  to reduce plastic waste)

With 6 cups warm water in the vitamix.

Strain through a nut milk bag and store for up to 5 days.

This was more delish than the canned stuff but was kind of a pain to make several times a week. I continued to find this was not a food I was able to easily moderate. If I were going to have milk in my coffee I wanted a lot of milk. My symptoms of irritation began to return.

There was but one option remaining if I wanted to consider myself a bonafide coffee lover. Loving black coffee.

Mission accomplished.

Now that I have made the switch I’d like to report on a few of the outcomes of the experiment:

  1. I love coffee more. This is due to actually tasting the essence of the bean rather than digging the creaminess factor.
  2. I have lost my craving for alcohol. This is due to the preference to be energized, rather than down, as we know alcohol is a depressant.
  3. I am more productive. Obviously, this is the caffeine, but I also think the decrease in alcohol contributes.
  4. I feel clearer. Knowing there is one simple organic, calorie, fat, and sugar-free ingredient in my cup plays into the psychology of this drink for me. My body doesn’t have the extra fat to process. My mind and body feel less junked up.
  5. I am saving money. No need to buy almonds and coconut flakes every week.
  6. My confidence is improving. Each time I trust myself to listen to my body and follow it’s lead my self-awareness increases, leaving me better able to take care of myself.

I am not sure what the next health experiment will be. For now, I think riding these caffeine waves and continuing to monitor my status is good enough.

How do you take your coffee?

Monday blues?

It’s Monday. Many peoples’ most dreaded day. If you’re living for the weekend and feeling low on Mondays it may be due to a lack in one key aspect of life…play.

Play is about joy. In a world of endless responsibilities, it can feel like a waste of time to stop and engage in something that has no practical purpose other than to help you feel connected to joy.

Part of reconnecting to play as an adult is taking notice of how you feel about the notion. Here are a few of the common reactions my clients have when we talk about playing:

“How can I play when I’m the adult taking care of everyone?”

“There is too much to do, I don’t have time to play.”

“Playful people lack responsibility- it’s that attitude that leaves me having to pick up the slack.”

Do any of these statements ring true for you?

Here’s the problem when we forget to play: Life is all too serious and we forget how to nurture our spirit, and ultimately ill health and bad attitudes dominate our sense of self. All we see is work. The tasks pile up and we can never do enough. We are crushed beneath the creation of our own adult-self.

Learning how to play, or making the time for it, doesn’t mean we abandon responsibility. Most people who have forgotten to prioritize joy have the adult-thing down! It will be there when you return from a swim in the sea, a picnic in the grass, an hour in the art studio. Your children will feel more connected to you if you know how to play and wisely maintain your parenting boundaries as needed. Your co-workers will wonder what your secret is. You will no longer have to work for the weekend or dread Mondays because play will be a part of your everyday.

Letting go of taking everything so seriously is part of finding balance. It’s my passion and purpose to help you along the way.

To reconnect with your joy, let’s talk. I’m an e-mail or phone call away.

[email protected]

336-420-2887

Whats the difference between a consultant, therapist, and coach?

You have a desire for more, different, better. You have always dreamed big, but lately, it feels like you’ve lost your mojo. You’ve dabbled in this and that but haven’t found your groove. You know life has something big in store for you. Who will support you in living that next dream?

The Role of a Consultant

Many successful people work with consultants to help them jump to that next level of growth. A consultant is brought in to solve a problem. They bring expertise. Due to the nature of the role of a consultant, however, there is also the chance for feeling disempowered. My own experience has been echoed by coaching clients of mine: working with a consultant can leave you feeling unheard. The role of the consultant is to be the expert, not to draw the expertise out of the client. It’s a top down, “here is the plan that is going to work” approach.

When you hire a consultant you are doing so because you assume they have answers. There is nothing wrong with this. I have done my share of consulting. My subject matter expertise is pre and perinatal psychology, a fascinating field exploring how our lifespan development is influenced by our experiences between the point of conception and the first 12 months after birth. I have also hired consultants (thank you IT smarties who make my magic devices work properly) because every time I get a handle on some aspect of technology or social media it changes and I don’t have the passion for continuously learning about this subject. Consultants are great, but not at helping you uncover your magic.

The Role of a Therapist

Engagement with a psychotherapist is another way to uncover blocks and move to the next level of greatness. This involves deep intrapersonal exploration for the purposes of emotional healing, primarily focused on the past. My own experience with counseling, as well as the feedback I get from others, is that the strict professional boundaries put in place to protect the therapist-patient relationship leave a void in transparency, collaboration, and clarification of a plan. Much like with a consultant, there is a power differential within the patient-therapist relationship. The therapist doesn’t disclose their own struggles and triumphs, so the patient will never know exactly how far the therapist has gone in doing their own work. I know these things, in part, because I was trained as a psychotherapist.

Psychotherapy is very important work. I have a therapist because old wounds, like any injury, will flare up if not tended to. I am very clear about why I am there, and that is not to be asked about my big dreams or create action steps to get there. In fact, sometimes after a session, I feel there has been no movement, or I may even feel a regression of emotional health (that’s when I know it’s working).

The Role of a Coach 

Knowing when to hire a coach is still unclear for many. Coaching is for people who want to jump into their own process of change with actionable steps completed through sheer will to be better today than yesterday.

When I was 9 I was given a homework assignment to draw a picture of where I would be in 20 years. I drew a picture of an academy award (well, my brother helped me draw it because he’s a better artist). In my college advisor meeting, my professor looked at me and said: “you’re not going to be one of those people who just gets a job and works. You’re bound for something different.” For my study abroad instead of going to the UK with the rest of my peers I choose a tiny dot in Australia and made the move alone. Time after time I made choices in life that would challenge me, help me grow, enable me to see things in a new way, and allow my spirit to be free. For others like me, a coach may be a good fit.

When it became apparent that my career path was one of an entrepreneur I spent a lot of time and money on consultants and therapists who weren’t really helping me with what I needed. What I needed was the clarification of my ideas, illumination of my expertise, and strategy to harness my gifts to get where I was going. A coach’s job is to believe in the client and tell them that directly with no agenda other than helping them create the life they desire. A coach helps a client slow down and connect with what they really want and to think through logical steps to get it.

A coach is a project manager for people with big dreams, as cleverly stated by The Prosperous Coach. The project is the next big goal held by an extraordinary person.

Coaches help you connect with your own magic, wisdom, and power. There is no “treatment” needed beyond reflecting back the person’s innate brilliance and empowering them to move forward in highly targeted ways.

Having given and received the support of consultant, therapist, and coach I understand the differences between each professional role. This allows me to properly refer my clients when needed, as well as know clearly why between these 3 admirable roles I have chosen to serve as a coach. The work is powerful, empowering, and collaborative. When I work with my coach it is like taking a confidence pill that lasts until the next session. Over time the steps I take build my internal sense of control and competency. My dreams have a voice and rather than being overwhelmed with a plan, I am coached through the small daily steps that bring my dreams to life.

 

If you are ready for your dreams to take flight, let’s talk…I love hearing from you!

[email protected]

336-420-2887

How do you stay inspired?

Fresh Air with Terry Gross is one of my favorite podcasts. I am always inspired by the interviews.

Yesterday was one of those days when I woke up feeling exhausted. I had a big day ahead of me and wasn’t sure how I was going to stay resourced. During my lunch break, I decided to lay on the floor with my feet up on the ottoman and listen to a recent Fresh Air interview. I needed some inspiration.

The guest on the show was David Sedaris. He’s the type of person who would make a remarkable coaching client because he maintains a dream for himself. He has vision with very specific lifestyle features he clearly wants. Driving his actions? The desire to really be somebody.

He is honest about his shadow material- the stuff that is forbidden- like his list of reasons to stay alive when life didn’t seem worth living and the ways he hid behind substance abuse to deny himself his dreams. Casting light on the shadow enables us to gain power over our self-sabotage.

He’s a very successful now, specifically known for his humorous memoirs, and Terry asked him about his life now that he has “made it”. So, is it everything you thought it would be? she asked. The calrity in his answer is what struck me. Yes, he said. It was everything and more.

Working for our dreams does pay off. Holding a vision makes getting there all the more rewarding.

How connected are you to your dreams, your desire to be somebody? How clear are you on exactly what you want your lifestyle to be?

I’d love to hear from you. Getting into these nitty gritty details is my passion. Helping you get there is my purpose.

Call – Text – 336-420-2887

Message me anytime – [email protected]